by Hillary Gerstler,
As an empath I am all too familiar of how it feels to get lost. To only feel like a glimmer of the person you know you are. I am all too familiar of how easy it is to end up in a relationship where you don’t have a voice, to believe since you have the best intentions that others do as well. To be up a murky creek, with no paddle in sight. Let my words be your paddle.
As empaths we have the unique ability to get stuck in depression caused by unruly environments. The reason this is, is because as empaths we are able to internalize other peoples feelings as if they were our own.
We literally feel what makes our loved ones happy, and even worse we feel what makes them angry and upset.
These feelings become so overwhelming that without us realizing it we start giving EVERYTHING to not get them upset or angry, even the slightest annoyance they feel, we feel too.
While we can romanticize this phenomenon, what is actually happening is the empath is fading away into oblivion. The feelings and emotions that we feel become insignificant, and we really start believing that our own feelings don’t matter at all.
This is where the depression kicks in, it’s because deep deep down within the depths of our souls we are fighting to be free.
Some people might say, what kind of person would make someone feel that way. The truth of the matter is (most of) our loved ones are not inherently bad. It usually happens without them even knowing it. It might start with us insisting that they pick the restaurants and the entertainment, because “we just want to make them happy”.
Little seemingly inconsequential gestures set the precedent of how you are allowed to be treated. In other words you are setting the precedent that they are more important than you, and therefore why would they respect you.
We get so completely enthralled by these situations and living for our loved ones that no matter how depressed we are, leaving never seems like an option. We would literally rather die than break the heart of someone we love. This is also why so many empaths are suicidal.
This phenomenon does not strictly occur in romantic relationships. This could easily happen in a friendship, without us even being aware of it. Friends might constantly ask us for advice, but not stick around to hear our problems. We have set the precedence that our problems are less important, that WE are less important.
The same things happen in parent child relationships. As empath children we feel extreme pressure to not disappoint our parents, because we internalize the disappointment, and therefore we become disappointed in our selves.
On the other end of the coin, as empath parents we give our all to make sure our children are happy, taken care of, and make sure our children know that it is impossible for us to ever be disappointed in them.
We make the best possible parents because we raise kids who have more confidence and are comfortable in their own skin.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, like you have given all your energy out to others and need to recharge yourself, always remember:
- You deserve happiness; take time for yourself
- Your feelings are no less important than anyone else’s
- We are all connected – when you hurt yourself you are hurting others