Stop Clinging To Your Soulmate – Find Your Twin Flame (The One)

by Neda The Mystic,
Contributing Writer,In5D.com

Loving someone truly consists of two parts: identifying in them and believing in them. Let’s talk about the first part. Identifying with someone is about seeing yourself in them, not just habits you’re attached to you. You look In their eyes and see yourself – your soul. You recognize them. But it’s not someone you gossip with and share mediocre common levels of interest like you would a best friend.

That brings up to part 2. Part 2 is about believing in someone. You not only see yourself but you believe in them! Maybe we were in a relationship with someone who has the same mentality or cultural backgrounds as our fathers or drank just like our fathers. We may not feel safe with them but yet we’re comfortable with them because subconsciously we are attached to them. They remind us of our caretakers or someone we grew up with for a long time. They may not be right but we identify with them only at an emotional hormonal and physiological level, like our yummy-but-not-always -healthy frosted cake. A part of us is trained to do that biologically because somehow that person who isn’t entirely right for our souls fulfills a need of our bodies, We may sometimes look at them as an old friend, knowing they aren’t always good for us, but feeling too attached and comfortable so we feel we cannot let go. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help these people and being attached to them in a compassionate way. However, they are not necessarily the one and you can do better.

You deserve a loving, joyful, non-abusive relationship with no walls. Believing in someone is about feeling safe with the person’s very presence – not just feeling physiologically comfortable around the person and for what they can do for us. It’s not always recognizing them with the mind. There may be a bunch of things you don’t know about them. But intuitively you feel right around this person, trusting you can be your full self around them because in essence, they are more like your true soul than anyone else. You feel truly SAFE, not just comfortable.

And back to the first part with identifying with them- you see their level of self esteem and self confidence and don’t feel separated from it. You feel at one with it-not like you two are two separate being but rather your soul dwelling into another body. The attraction between you two is based on oneness, not something you perceive as separate from yourself. You believe in them because you fully identify with them. You feel safe with them and not in a compassionate way! You never feel like you have to be there for them to feel sorry for them or because you feel they need you in order to be successful or believe in yourself. You recognize them- they don’t need you to guide them. They are complete with or without you. You complement them, not complete them. You don’t have to try to change them or feel obligated to help them grow or guide their hand along the trails of life. You trust in their ability to take care of themselves.

Now we usually marry people who are just our soulmates who we just have a normal, standardized, traditional human relationship with based on our carnal needs and people who we feel comfortable with but not totally unified with. Maybe we can marry our best friends or people we just feel familiarized with because we’ve known them for so long. Although they may make us happy for sometime, it is not the most self- loving thing to do to marry these kinds of soulmates, because they only let us feel happy for so long. At some point these people may unfortunately grow jealous of you, intimidated by you, or feel not good enough for you, eventually leading them to want to reject you before you get a chance to reject them. And it’s okay to go back to this person as a friend but do you really want to marry and have the same kind of relationship you did before with this person knowing that you guys parted for a reason? Do you really want to rekindle the fire with this person who only recognizes goodness in you, but doesn’t appreciate it, feeling separate from it and never worthy enough for it? Now the marriage can work perhaps if you two mature and advance but honestly, it is best let them go because there is a better match for you out there who can not only be your perfect partner but your twin flame.

There is someone out there who will accept you 100 percent without changing you and the whole game of life is finding that person. At the same time you don’t need them physically in your life either. If you are blessed enough to encounter your true twin. their presence will just be a reflection of how much love you are showing yourself. So as mentioned in previous articles, there is nothing worse than low self esteem. When you accept yourself 100 percent entirely as you are, you will be a vibrational match to the one, hands down. And it will be the best kind of relationship – no jealousy, no mind games, no manipulation because you two will see each other’s souls and it will be beautiful. You won’t be with each other out of a sense of obligation or because you feel sorry for them or filled with compassion for them.

But the only way to find The One is to cultivate true self acceptance and self esteem. Do the inner work and don’t hate the people who you were with earlier (maybe your ex husband or ex wife or ex lover.) It was a good relationship just just reflected your sense of self esteem and self worth at the time. They are okay, but you can do better. And if you are overcoming a false twin experience with a soulmate, remember, the darkest hour is right before dawn. At the other side of the coin when you meet your true twin, you’ll experience the kind of relationship you are worthy of. This false twin experience just prepares you for it. Send them love (compassionate love not necessarily romantic love) and you don’t have to cut them out of your life forever. You can still be friends with them and care for them but know they won’t be the best partners for you. They won’t be the truest of lovers. You won’t feel fulfilled and complete in their presence. Think of them as clothes you have outgrew because you’re more mature now and life gave you them then because they reflected the vibrational self-esteem stage you were in. Send them love and set them free! I’m not saying these kind of relationships won’t work- they can and you can even marry your soulmate or false twin but it won’t feel as fulfilling. Of course, you don’t need anyone, not even your twin flame to be fulfilled. But this is all just a journey. Don’t look at your ex soulmate as a mistake- they were meant to be in your life. There are no mistakes, there are just learning lessons. The only mistake is thinking that you have to settle for someone who you don’t feel truly comfortable, safe, and at peace with. Remember, your true twin would never want to hurt you. And if your soulmate did hurt you, don’t take it personally. They probably also expected you to be the one and last forever although it was meant to last for a short time, so they are disheartened and disappointed as well. It doesn’t mean they were not meant to be in your life- just be friends with these kinds of people next time, you don’t have to be buddies or romantic partners anymore.

Don’t waste your energy hating this person – would it make sense to hate an alligator for trying to snap its mouth closed the moment it catches its prey? Would it make sense to hate a child for running up and down the stairs and getting the living room dirty? No. Exactly. These soulmates who are driving you bonkers are unevolved children! As Cute and adorable as they are and may be, they aren’t the one!!! If you want them to be in your lives, that is fine. But expecting them to be true romantic partners is like expecting them a woodpecker outside your window to stop to stop pecking wood every morning when you’re trying to sleep or a child to stop throwing paint on the walls just because you want them to. Love these people- don’t hate them for hurting you. They’re big baby victims who don’t know any better. But keep a safe distance especially if they are abusive and don’t settle for a romantic relationship with these people. Celebrate the love that you both had and let him or her part with love if the relationship is hurting you. Be good friends if you want, but hopefully nothing more.

The twin flame love is unlike any love you experienced before. And you don’t need to meet this person but the whole game of life is finding this person. Intuitively you already know this. There is someone out there for everyone. Once you’ve grown enough self-esteem and self acceptance, watch this magic person just fall into place.

About the author: Neda is a psychology student. She loves screenwriting, art, Rumi poetry, traveling, philosophy, and studying esoteric spirituality and religion. Her favorite spiritual author growing up was Deepak Chopra. She is the owner of Lazycattherapy.com She currently offers life-enhancing advice free of charge.

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