by Martijn de Zee,
Guest writer, In5D.com
We all love to be loved, but do we always recognize when it is expressed to us? When there is a blind spot, it can mean you have limited your perception to receive it, by maintaining an old framework of assumptions and misinterpretations that no longer serves you. I once asked my class to give a definition of love. All of the students gave me different answers, but they were all 100% true. Because, who am I to judge, about something universal that everyone knows what it is, but give it a different meaning?
Love can manifest itself in many different ways. However, because of ego and programming we often do not recognize the true essence of these expressions and forms of love. We tend to expect the other person you love gives you exactly that piece that fits into your frame of reference. When this does not this happen, often comes disappointment and we may think that the other person does not care about us. However, this emotion tells us that we are actually looking for something outside of us to fill up a feeling of emptiness. When you fully love yourself, you will not experience this need.
Needy people will never really be satisfied with the love they receive, because it will not be recognized as such. The bowl of love has a large leak and will therefore never be flooding, no matter how long you keep trying. The inevitable lamentation of the needy person will also bring him in a victim role, in which he will behave like a person that drowns. And perhaps this is the way to get attention, but it has nothing to do with unconditional love. Here it is the ego that is creating the terms and conditions about how we should be loved. We might try to change the other person, so that he or she meets these conditions. However, this will never end well, because when love is being enforced, it will be conditional, which can only lead to disappointments again. Then, the vicious circle is born and can only be broken by recognizing that your own vision of what love is, does not have to equal to that of another person.
The wisdom that dictates that you first have to love yourself before you can love someone else is not a cliché and teaches us a deeper understanding that true love cannot be found outside of yourself. The love we hold for ourselves can only be shared with a person who loves him or herself, because only then will be understood that love has different forms, and therefore it cannot be blocked by our ego. It simply does not provide any services anymore.
Our sun shines continuously and gives us light and warmth, without judging whether we have earned it. The sun cannot be otherwise, for it is the essence of who she is. If we become love ourselves, we can give only love, without testing to see if the person deserves our love. It is the ultimate goal, where we first have to eliminate the many obstacles, to become love, which will cease our quest to find this in others. The need to find a partner has been transformed into, a desire to share the wealth of self-love. This love, can of course be shared with everyone, because it transcends the ego.
About the author: My name is Martijn de Zee and I was born in The Netherlands on January 31st 1975. During my lifetime I have had several experiences that challenged my belief systems. There were always synchronicities on my way that brought me to newer levels of understanding. I am currently residing in Mexico where I met my mentor who gave me a new perspective about the universe. She also told that I was chosen to write a book, which I am working on right now. Everything came to me in he right moment. ( the student is ready, when the teacher arrives ) Nowadays, I am helping people to find answers and guide them through difficult processes, so I consider myself as a lifecoach/mentor, but I will always remain a student myself.