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The Seat Of Judgment

By on June 30, 2017 in Spiritual Awakening

The Seat Of Judgment

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by Nicole Frolick,
Contributing Writer,

Oh the seat of judgment. It’s a tricky seat. It has a way of using our ego to distort the truth. It feels all high and mighty when one sits down but the truth is this seat is a mere reflection of pain…pain that is harbored in the person who sits there.


Judgment keeps us separate from others. It excludes rather than includes. When we turn to judgment of others, we believe we are better than someone or something. It’s used when we believe in duality. Right or wrong. Black or white. Truth or lies. And we usually see ourselves sitting on what is considered to be the favorable side of those dualities.

But judgment is a defense mechanism. It’s a defense against seeing the truth within ourselves. Why? Because often times the truth about ourselves is too painful to address or accept. So we project it onto someone else when the conditions are just right for us to do so.

Judgment is going outside of yourself to feel better for self-lack you’re unaware of and therefore don’t yet understand. It often has nothing to do with the person or things you’re judging and has everything to do with the feelings you have in that moment. And those feelings are letting you know it’s time to address them.

When judgment is cast it can seem quite unfortunate especially if you’re on the receiving end. But what if we flipped the coin of judgment and chose to see it in a different light? When we judge another for an action they have done, words they have said, beliefs they may hold etc. what’s actually being created is an opportunity.

The Seat Of Judgment



If you have enough awareness within you to stop yourself in a moment of judgment you will notice that as the judge, you’re looking straight into a mirror that is reflecting something you don’t like about yourself. If you’re the one being judged and have this awareness as well, you’ll understand the person judging you is harboring unresolved pain…that has nothing to do with you.

However, both parties involved are presented with an incredible opportunity when this happens. As much as we would like to believe in right and wrong (and we love to see ourselves on the ‘right’ side) why does it have to be this way? Why can’t there be more than one truth?

When you can’t accept someone or something what that really means is that you can’t accept this within yourself. Your ego wants you to believe that this part doesn’t exist within you but the stark reality is it does…you’re just denying it. And it needs to be addressed because your happiness and ability to move forward beyond it requires you to. However there is one little caveat. You must address it with compassion.

When you’re judging, you’re closing yourself off to the insights that will evolve you beyond the limitation you’re looking at. This is why the ego will convince you that what you’re judging is actually outside of you. The ego wants you to stay exactly where you are. If you were to evolve beyond this limitation, you would find it much easier to accept yourself and ultimately have joy move in, replacing the discord. The ego doesn’t want that. The ego knows you’re much easier to control when you keep yourself separated as opposed to being in harmony with others and self. And let’s face it. It’s much easier to project than to own your faults as yours.

But what if we didn’t see our faults as ‘faults’ and instead opportunities to expand our love for ourselves and others?

If you can shift from the Judge to the Witness you will be amazed at what you can discover. Being the witness allows you to remove the emotions that may be clouding your current perception and make room for insights into what’s really going on.

Witnessing allows you to observe with compassion. If you can observe something about yourself that you may not like and learn to be okay with it something very interesting happens. It no longer causes disharmony. Accepting the parts about you that you’re taught you shouldn’t like is an act of unconditional love. And when you can accept these parts in you, you no longer have to fight them which is where all of the judgment stems from. And this acceptance of self spills over into acceptance of others.

Acceptance is unconditional love. We all have our idiosynchronicities that can rub others the wrong way but it’s not our job to change others. It’s our job to accept ourselves as we are. Once we do that we no longer feel the need to change that which is outside of us because our happiness resides within. It’s not dependent on someone else’s words, actions, or beliefs. And because we have harmony within us, we will see harmony within others.

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Our perception truly dictates our reality. Our perception of the outside world is a direct reflection of our internal world. So whatever’s going on inside of you, is showing up in your life. We get to choose, every time, how we’ll perceive a person, situation, etc. That perception has a direct link to how you see yourself. If you truly see yourself in a loving way, you will more times than not choose to see that in other people. However if you don’t see yourself in a loving way, you will see aspects you don’t like about yourself in others. It’s the law of that which you focus on expands.

So when we judge outside of ourselves it helps to be aware that our judgment is actually a beacon of light guiding us to take a good look in the mirror.

Now if you’re receiving this judgment there’s also an opportunity here for you as well. You’re not some innocent bystander in the unfortunate fire of someone’s judgment. You’re also being given a beautiful opportunity that you have indeed chosen to experience.

Our natural reaction to being judged is to feel pain inflicted by another. It’s programmed heavily in us to react this way. However we have other options.

The first thing we can do is recognize that if someone is judging us, they’re likely harboring a lot of pain within themselves. It’s not so much about you, but how you react to this person or situation.

You could play the victim and shift your energy into ‘poor me’ mode. Perhaps say things like “what did I ever do to deserve this?” This would seem to be a normal reaction, but who does it help? It certainly doesn’t help anyone involved or the situation.

Another option?

You can look deep within yourself and call upon your compassionate heart to guide you through it. When we call upon our compassion we are saying to the other(s) involved, “I see you.” This is an important element because all any of us want in this world is to know we are seen. And when you do this you’re calling the judge out in the most loving way. You’re not condemning them, you’re offering support.

This is not about the words you use but rather the energy you send back. If you can see their pain, and understand that their pain is causing them to hurt others outside of themselves so they can feel better in an indirect way, you no longer see yourself as the victim. What you see is yourself in that person. You recognize the pain. You see the human element present in us all. You’ve stopped the creation of separation and rebuilt the human connection.

Compassion is one of our greatest tools for bringing back the element of humanity. And the only thing that will assist both people involved is more love, not more judgment.

One of the ways you can do this is in your thoughts. Extending a loving thought such as, “I see you. I see your pain. If you’re hurting, I’m hurting. So I send this energy back to you with love and compassion to assist you in finding the acceptance your soul is asking for. Thank you for this opportunity to create more love.”

Through this thought form you’ve not only assisted this person but you’ve taken the opportunity to strengthen the love you have within yourself. And that is a wonderful blessing to be offered. Our character is truly defined in these moments. And it may not go so well the first time you try it. Or the second. But don’t judge yourself. Just keep trying. Each time you have the awareness to try it, you strengthen that divine aspect within you while assisting someone else out of their judgment. It’s a win-win.

The seat of judgment is the seat of separation. If your goal is to evolve, spreading more love and less hate, then this is a seat you will want to think twice about sitting in. However if you do take a seat, and it’s bound to happen as we all do without even knowing it at times, remember the opportunity you’ve just created for yourself. Use the judgment as a beacon to bring you back to yourself to discover the truths you are currently denying. The peace that comes with acceptance is well worth it and the new path it takes you on is filled with more joy.

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About the author: Nicole Frolick is an international expert on Flexibility and the author of Inflexible Me: Expanding Past the Inflexible Barriers of the Body, Mind, and Soulir?t=bcp11wh33 20&l=am2&o=1&a=B01E7UCTYI. Utilizing her Four Fundamentals of Flexibility, Nicole shares with her audiences the importance of flexibility in accessing the greatest potential of individuals and companies. She is also a co-host on the Blog Talk Radio Show TLC, every Sunday. If you’re looking to expand your meditation practice but need assistance, you can email her at for more information. To learn more please visit

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