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Living Out Of Love, Not Fear

By on February 17, 2017 in Spiritual Awakening

Living Out Of Love, Not Fear

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by Will Nicholls,
Contributing Writer,

The following is written based on my personal experiences. While I do not belong to any one religious institution, I acknowledge all forms of religion to have various perspectives with many common traits. The most common trait that sometimes gets distorted is the message of Love. That is what I am going to be talking about. Please do not make any assumptions after reading this. Think for yourself, educate yourself, read a book, do some research, but may this guide or initiate you into a beginning journey of understanding. May you continue to learn more about yourself, and your purpose. Namaste.


Everyone believes in something. Even the belief of nothing is a belief in something. If you are a firm believer in a specific way of life, I ask that you always continue to question yourself, your institution, and the meaning of life, for you will only reaffirm your true beliefs by doing so. And if perhaps you are not yet in a place where you can put a definition on what it is you believe in, which is the case for a high number of people, than perhaps this may aid you in beginning your journey. Until then, fear not for many people go their whole lives believing someone else’s beliefs instead of searching for their own answers. And that is okay! We are all on different paths, with different purposes, at different levels…but we are all here, learning, and experiencing this great vast reality we call Life. So now, let us explore this idea of Living out of Love, as opposed to fear.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Wake up time! 7:55am. I go pee, brush my teeth, have a quick shower to wake me up and get me started for the day. Dry my body off. Get Dressed. Eat breakfast, take my coffee to go. Damn, its 8:45am already! I’m going to be late. Ugh, not again. Get to work (NOT) on time at 9:12am. Time to pretend my life isn’t miserable for a few hours. Punch in. Begin days work. Ah! 12:30 already. Lunch Time. 1:00pm, lunch is over, punch back in. Continue to act like I don’t hate every second of this. Woohoo! Its 5:00pm. Time to punch out and go home. Get stuck in traffic for an hour. Make it home by 6:15, realize fridge is empty. Pizza for the 4th day in a row. Great. I’ll just watch some TV while I eat. Have a few beers, and damn its Midnight already? Better get off to bed. Got another 4 days till the weekend.

Can you believe some people live like this? You probably can, because that is probably a similar, slightly more or less dramatic version of your past or current everyday life. Do you ever feel as though there has to be more than this. The constant routine of eat, sleep, stress, repeat is this frigid bubble we live in. This is known as fear based living. Fact of the matter is we are constantly in fear…of everything. We fear time, we fear the idea of not being in alignment with this linear system the world seemed to adopt so adamantly. We turn on the news and see fear, hear fear, feel fear. We fear change, we fear embarrassment, we fear ourselves, and we fear others.

We love to live in this small, comfy and cozy bubble of fear. We do everything in our power to stay in this bubble of fear. We stay in bad relationships because we fear what might happen if there is change.

We fear doing things that we have never done before.

We fear life. We fear death, oh do we fear death.


We crave this comfort. We want, as a whole species nothing more than to be comfortable. The most ironic part is as much as we love our comfort, our TVs, our cars, our fast food, our houses, our jobs; we do not really know what comfort is. We have this idea of what we think want, this false image of control which we think we have. But we do not. We want what society wants.

We believe we are in control until something happens that shows us we are not. We let our jobs, our friends, our family, our country, our government, the media, even our children, control us. We have no sense of what it means to be in control, and that scares us. We hold onto our fears, our habits, our “comforts” because it is all we know. And we get to the point where we are so consumed with fear, so distraught that we will fight as if our lives depended on it, in order to gain back this false illusion of control.

Many of us get to the point where we believe our fears are a part of us, we believe our habits, our routines, are who we are. And that is beyond false. It is one of the greatest acts of illusions ever to occur on earth. Our fear is not us, but this protective voice in our heads many psychologists have called, the Ego. Now, the idea of ego is quite a paradox. While our ego is a part of us, we are not our ego.

We are not defined by fear. We are not defined by our habits that have gained control over us. We are not defined by our past experiences good or bad. No. We are defined by who we are at the present moment. Right here, Right now. We are an ever changing being, whom is indefinable. If you were to take one piece of information back from this post, (hopefully you learn more,) then take this: You are not a definition of your past, you are not what you strive to be, you are what you are right here in the present.

Every second we change, literally at a cellular level, but also at a mental, emotional and spiritual level. We are in constant thought, we are always changing. This universe is constantly changing, for if nothing changed, nothing could be created or destroyed. The only singular thing that stays the same throughout time is Love. Not your ideas surrounding love, not the person that you love, not the thing that you “love” or any form of attachment to an idea of love, but the act of love itself. Love is timeless, and universal. It is the infinite. It is both creation and destruction, both light and dark, yin and yang. Love is all that truly is.

What is love? It is perhaps one of the most philosophical questions of all time. How do you define something that is indefinable? For it too is perceived in various ways. We have ideas surrounding it, expectations, and limitations. But Love itself is none of that. Love is total appreciation of all. Love is total acceptance of all that is. When you begin to accept and appreciate everything that is, starting with yourself, you begin to feel what love is. You begin to start a journey of understanding as to what exactly this wild and crazy thing called Love is. When you begin to see Love for what it truly is, without limitations or expectations, you begin to live out of Love. You begin to gain a sense of understanding. This supreme understanding is brought on by accepting all that is, and understanding that the act of accepting all that is, is love itself. Now, you may have an idea of what you perceive love to be, and that is not to be discredited. In your reality, that is one hundred percent true. But in someone else’s reality that may or may not be true. We define things based on experiences. What we know with all our heart to be truth is exactly such, until we begin to question that. Doesn’t that sound scary? Well when we question things, we get answers. Now before we continue, let’s go back to the idea of fear.

Think about what it is you fear most.

  • Do you fear death?
  • Do you fear loss?
  • Do you fear mistakes?
  • Do you fear imperfection?
  • Do you fear being humiliated?
  • Do you fear a bad habit?

Or maybe you fear a person who has done you wrong. We can split these fears into two ways, the first being a fear based on what has happened. This is the idea that we judge the day to day based on the past. We can do that with ourselves, feeling as though “Well if I did it in the past, I’ll do it again.” Or we may do that with others, judging someone based on our past expectations.

The root of this is expectations. When you expect something to happen, or put your time and energy into fearing that something will happen, most of the time it happens. But more often than not, you are given experiences which exceed your expectations. These are learning experiences. They allow you to see that judging your present and future, based on the past is very silly. These experiences allow you to grow out of old patterns that have for so long haunted you. You may have experienced bouts of depression, or great unexplained sadness. Perhaps you may have felt trapped in the nostalgia. A fear of experiences and change. We fear the past because we have not yet addressed and accepted the pain we have endured. We have pushed it aside in hopes that maybe one day it will just disappear. But instead this builds up and creates shame, guilt and sadness. It is so important for you to know that you are ever changing, and a beautiful vast indefinable being. You are not your past. You are the right now. It seems hard to grasp, it seems so complex. In reality, it is simple… Love, that is all. The reason it doesn’t seem that way is because it is not what you have impressed upon yourself all this time. You have the power to change that. You are grand. You are mighty. You are Love.

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The second aspect of fear is rooted in fear of potentiality. This may also come from your past, but it is the worry, the over thinking, the anxiety associated with the endless potentials that surround our daily lives. This mentality is the fear of the unknown. It stems from feeling a lack of control within our lives. We have this innate ability to evaluate all the alternatives; the problem is however, most of the time these outcomes are assumptions we make based on preconceived judgements, and chances are they may or may not even exist at all. The thoughts, “If I do this, what will that person think of me?” or “Should I say that? How will they react?” are entirely within our imagination. For while the concern of others does come naturally to many of us, when the lack of concern for ourselves and our mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing is overridden by the worry of other people and their personal opinions, that becomes fear.

Fear tells us we need to bring the awareness back to ourselves. We may believe someone thinks a certain way, or may react a certain way, but they are themselves and we are ourselves. We cannot assume such a thing. This fear around what others perceive of us is a big deal. We believe that in order to be accepted in society, we must do this or that. When realistically, we subconsciously believe that by doing so, we ourselves will feel accepted. We are constantly chasing the false reality of the need to do anything and everything to feel accepted, loved or happy. When in actuality, we need to feel accepted and complete. We must feel loved and happy before we do anything we wish to feel fulfilled by. If we do not do that, we will constantly be searching for the next best thing, and we will place our happiness upon things, relationships and feelings.

We fear the future because we wish to know all there is to know. We wish to be able to predict what is to come. We believe that by worrying about something, it will ease our uncertainty. If you take a step back however, and breathe for just a moment, you will see that worrying does nothing to aid us in this feeling of lack of control. It only makes it worse. We are divine beings. We are love. We are happiness. And while we experience sadness, loss, heartbreak, and self-loathing, these are experiences created to show us how beautiful we truly are. They show us how strong we are, how limitless we are. They are meant to make us look back and think, about how much we can overcome. When we can persevere through our limitations we set on ourselves, we come to an understanding that we truly are capable of anything.

Let’s elaborate a little more on the idea of understanding. Throughout history, blood has been shed over the act of telling people to think a certain way, or that their beliefs are wrong and they must abide to the majority beliefs in a particular area at that time. This does not create understanding. It is unexplained madness. If one is brought to an understanding, the reasoning behind their beliefs or methodologies (ON THEIR OWN TERMS) makes so much more sense. For the very act of questioning one’s own belief system, reaffirms, alters slightly or shatters their past beliefs for the better. When we resonate with information brought to us, it is because either consciously or subconsciously we understand it. Sometimes just hearing a perspective, regardless of whether it is resonant of your belief or not, provides you with an idea that leads to understanding. Maybe it makes you question your belief systems, or everything you’ve ever known, or maybe it’s just something as simple as someone recommending a place to go for coffee. During such a moment, regardless of if this understanding is specifically about you, you gain insight to yourself. For just recognizing this understanding, in others, yourself, or anything really, is a step towards the understanding of self.

Understanding yourself is the key to love, to happiness, change of habits, and most importantly peace of mind. When we understand ourselves, we can accept ourselves. When we accept ourselves we can truly love ourselves. And once we truly love ourselves, we can truly love anything we can envision. Thus to deeply understand love at a personal level, we must first understand ourselves. Understanding leads to acceptance, and acceptance leads to this idea of living in the present also known as enlightenment in the Buddhist sense.

Acceptance, which by now hopefully you understand that it is Love, is the non-attachment of idealisms. Let me give a simple example to help better understand this. You’re partner gets done up for a party, they look really nice, and have taken more time to work on their appearance. You see them and think, wow, they look really nice.

Now the Attachment ego-based perspective goes as follows: You may begin to formulate this image in the back of their mind that this by dressing up, your partner is most attractive to you. You think wow, why don’t they do this every day if they look this good? You then begin to hold an expectation of your partner. When they don’t look all done up, you begin to hold in your mind this idea that they are less attractive. This may not be consciously realized, or it may be totally conscious. But your partner begins to not dress up as often as they have in the past, and you begin to constantly have this thought in your mind that they are less attractive than when you first met them. You hold onto these expectations, and they end up destroying your happiness. This is attachment.

The non-attachment love-based perspective goes as follows: You see how beautiful they are when they dress up, and appreciate the work they put into it. However, you see the beauty in them beyond just looks. You appreciate them for all that they are. You don’t hold expectations of what you perceive them to be as, instead you understand that they are beautiful, and a divine being in a human body and are your equal. They are perfect, and wonderful and you accept them as they are. Not limiting them, or putting them into this box of expectations. You constantly see that they become more beautiful each day just by accepting all that they are, and you become more happy with yourself. This is Love. This is non-attachment. Appreciating every imperfection. Appreciating every moment, and not comparing or placing expectations on anyone, or anything.

The moment you release expectations, is the same moment you release limitations on love, and overall happiness. The moment you release attachment of all that is, is the moment you experience all that is. You are Love, you are Divine. So I urge you to question the areas in your life in which you hold expectations of others, of yourself or of situations. Release those expectations, and appreciate the divinity in all of creation. To just be, is the most beautiful thing of all. To Love, that is what we are here for. That is what we are meant to do, that is our life purpose. We are Love. Love yourself, Love your neighbor, Love your life, because it is all a gift.

“If you want to know your Maker, know yourself.”

will nichollsAbout the author: Will Nicholls is an Intuitive Reader, Reiki and Rainbow Body Energy Practitioner, Astrologer, Writer, Learner and Teacher specializing in guided meditations, light body activations, and Shamanic journeying courses. His messages are inspired by his mission of bridging the gap between the illusion of “spiritual” people and “non-spiritual” people. His writings are influenced by, and often include guidance from numerous walks of life including: Taoism, Tantrism, North and South American Shamanism, Buddhism, and Ancient Egyptian Mystery Schools. His writings include but are not limited to topics of: Expanding Consciousness, Energy Healing, Chakras, Raising our Vibrations, Law of Attraction, Love, Co-existence, Sacred Geometry, Plant Medicine, Meditation, The Pineal Gland, Spiritual Awakening, and Conscious Sexuality. He is the proud owner of Fractal Healing Holistic Energy Services, a passionate blogger and an avid explorer of consciousness. He is located in the frosty white country of Canada!

Image: Pixabay

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