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What Is True Love?

By on February 26, 2017 in Spiritual Awakening

What Is True Love?

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by Neda The Mystic,
Contributing Writer,

With the month of Valentine’s Day coming to a close, something inside many of us is still burning with fiery passion inside, longing to know if we are with “The One” or are we are on our way to “The One?” Guess what, Cupid Eyes? You’ll never find “The One” as long you as you have a mental set of expectations as to what “The One” should be like.


It is imperative to know what qualities you look for in a spouse or life partner, but a key ingredient is LOVE. A person could have multiple wonderful traits, high status, be wealthy, determined, successful, work-oriented, and the list goes on, but if you feel something is missing inside and you just don’t feel the magic Sparks of Joy within when you’re around the person, then this is a big RED FLAG.

A lot of us get into a romantic partnership or even friendship from a place of “I should.” We say to ourselves “I should be with someone because I don’t want to be lonely,” or “I should marry this person because we come from the same culture or Religious Group,” or “I should be with this person because I am in a rush to start a family and have kids” or “this person must be The One because we both like the color blue or we both like dolphins (very silly teenager-like thinking).

The One is a Mental, Ego-based Image in Your Head. It’s not real.

Stop delaying your joy. If you don’t feel inspired within when you’re around this person or you don’t feel safe around this person, then don’t expect that one day in the near future, the person is going to magically transform into this Butterfly of Your Dreams just because you want them to be that way. Love just happens-it’s not something you can control. It doesn’t happen because “Oh- we both come from the same class structure” or “we both like to wear neon green sweaters.” It’s because when you’re around this person, you feel a soul connection that cannot precisely be described in words. You feel a sense of safety whether they do everything for you, or nothing with you. You feel like they are your family- you’re comfortable with them like you would be around your father or mother. But even if a person is completely successful and a winner and they may seem to have everything, if you don’t feel it with this person, then you just don’t feel it! Don’t force yourself to get into a relationship with this person just because your parents or friends said so. Follow your own bliss!

The Attraction must be ignited from a state of Oneness, not Duality:

This means you see yourself in the other person, even if they have dark, undesirable traits. It’s not attraction because you think the person is different from you, it’s because you sense something similar in them that is also within you. You know you’ve found your soulmate and not this image of the one in your head where you can just be yourself around the person. You stop trying to change yourself just so someone else can like you. And even if a relationship with this person doesn’t last forever, (for example, the other person passes away) the love will always be there. These are some of the signs.

To sum it up, you’re in True Love when…

You feel a sense of peace in their very being.

You’re not just in a relationship with them for what they can do for you in the future. You love without expectations.


You can be yourself around the other person, laughing like a walrus or eating like you’ve never eaten food before.

You see yourself in them, especially when looking into their eyes.

You believe in their ability to feel good about themselves and feel a sense of success within themselves and you trust that they will be okay.

They are one of the most amazing people you have ever met, even if you get into the most horrendous arguments.

They challenge you to tear down beliefs that no longer serve you, inspiring you to be your best self, whether they themselves are aware of it or not.

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The bond between you isn’t all rainbows and candy; it requires you to do some emotional work to become stronger.

You feel safe to express yourself emotionally to them without the use of walls and you trust that they can handle your emotional outbursts.

The very being of the other person is a source of joy and inspiration to you.

Even if your heart breaks because you cannot be with this person, you become softer rather than meaner- you don’t go going to war to fight for them and you become compassionate for others.

You sense a sublime closeness, even if you have not known them forever.

They truly feel like family to you and like your destiny and someone you feel confident introducing to your own parents because it feels like they somehow already know who they are, at some level.

It’s not based on lustful attachment, but a sense of oneness and peace.

You don’t just identify with them, but also believe in them and trust that they are going to be okay.

You will always love them, even if you don’t agree with everything about them.

You feel a sense of spiritual freedom!

You accept them, even if they are different from you, but at the same time, don’t lose sense of self. You respect them and their beliefs and do things out of respect for them, but at the same time don’t completely Change yourself just for them. For example, you don’t smoke just because they do. You don’t play video games all night, jeopardizing your sleep, just because they do. You keep your sense of self and be a role model to them, not trying to change them, but trusting they they will eventually change in a healthy manner, without you forcing them. You express yourself and your beliefs, without imposing them on the other person.

You don’t need them to be with you 24/7- you just need them to feel happy whether they are right next to you or 3,000 miles away.

About the author: Neda is a psychology student. She loves screenwriting, art, Rumi poetry, traveling, philosophy, and studying esoteric spirituality and religion. Her favorite spiritual author growing up was Deepak Chopra. She is the owner of She currently offers life-enhancing advice free of charge.

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